Fractals theory, bus stops and brownies

My New Year's resolution is to relax. It's more complex than it sounds.

Part of it is organizing my life in such a way that it is possible to relax. That means fewer feverish last-minute papers for grad school, no more surprise deadlines popping up without being noticed, less procrastinating and more thinking: planning ahead and tuning in to what I'm doing in the moment as it relates to what I was hoping to be doing in the moments yet to come.

My Personal Principal and Voice of Reason told me about fractals theory - how the shape of each individual day ultimately determines the shape of your life as a whole.

If that is the case, I hesitate to wonder exactly which shapes my life would reflect... the shape of me pounding the pavement toward the bus stop at 6: 30 in the morning, bag bouncing, breathing heavy? The shape of frantically searching for things I have misplaced? The shape of drinking alone?

I prefer to think that ultimately my life will have a calmer, friendlier form: baking brownies for birthdays; coffee in coffee shops; Bloody Mary's over brunch; training for triathlons.

I hope my final life-shape learns how to relax.