Ain't nothing gonna break my stride

I should preface this by reiterating, this has been my best year yet. One of the most amazing differences I've been feeling is that of calm in the room. I'm relaxed and the kids are relaxed, enough so that I can make jokes and tease them a little now that I've gotten to know them. I feel more like myself while teaching than I ever have before - cheerful, low-key, sane, sometimes silly. The kids are quiet in the halls.  My inner hose-beast has not so far had to rear its ugly head even once!

I realize I'm not the rookie anymore.  I see first year teachers struggling through what I went through and I realize how far I've come. And  I see my kids transforming, working hard, making new realizations...

And just when I had managed to forget the ignominy of the superintendent's vote of no confidence this summer, Candy mentioned that Superintendent Numbercrunch called to check up on me. Like peeling off a scab and watching fresh blood reappear, all that ICK raced back up to the surface. 


It struck me that one thing you need as a teacher -- and it's not something you can fake -- is confidence. The kids need to be able to trust you to lead them in the right direction, and for that to happen, you have to be able to trust yourself. Much harder than it sounds.


But more than any other year, I'm starting to feel confident in what I'm doing, that, hey, this is working after all. And I remember some important advice I have received: to follow my internal compass (because it's always there if you look for it), and also when there is unpleasantness surrounding you, to step into a giant invisible condom until you are safely away, then peel it off your protective prophylactic and dispose of any unpleasantness-residue as expeditiously as possible. 


RIght now my compass is telling me to keep doing what i am doing, because this time I'm pointed in the right direction.  It's telling me to keep listening to my little ragtag posse of students who walk in the back of the line so they can be near me on the way up from lunch, so they can ask me questions like, do bearded dragons molt like snakes, and find out if I've read the Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin starts a tsunami in the bathtub, and ask how the universe began, or have I ever seen a shark tooth, and why did God invent paint?

And although part of me is conflicted about letting them talk in the hallways, a bigger part of me, the part that always seems to win, finds the questions irresistible.  And the part of me that learned how T-bird's mom died in childbirth, and how his dad works all the time and his 16-year-old sister cooks for him and makes him do his homework, and the part of me that knows this kid is absolutely brilliant and really just needs someone besides his elderly babysitter to talk to, realizes that entertaining his questions on the way up the stairs might be the most important thing I do all day.

So I'm cueing my theme music for the day...

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
I'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'

Back

It's kind of a miracle, when you think about it, how kids learn.  I just did the second round of reading tests for the year, and I still find it incredible that somehow, kids can read words they couldn't read two months ago, that somehow they understand parts of stories that had eluded them the first time around.

Part of the miracle is not being sure exactly how it happens... I know I follow a curriculum that is supposed to have been researched and lab site-tested and ensures that kids will learn how to read... and yet I can't help feeling that the kids hear me the way Charlie Brown hears adults in his world:  "Wah wah wah wah wah wee wah."

But somewhere along the lines, stuff sunk in! Somehow my voice managed to ooze into the cracks in their consciousness and there they are, mirroring things I've said like little parakeets.

***

In case you're wondering, I'm having the best year yet.  According to Malcolm Gladwell, it takes about 10,000 hours to become completely proficient at something, and according to my calculations I recently reached that mark.

I did not heed my own advice and I acquiesced when MoLo asked if I would work after school this year.  But after a couple of months of constant low grade exhaustion, I heard my inner Buddha's voice telling me to resign, and so I drummed up my courage and did it... and MoLo's reaction couldn't have been more positive.  She said it demonstrated leadership qualities to be able to recognize where your priorities are and that you always have to put your kids first.

So now I'm hoping to use my extra 4-6 hours a week to get back to the blog.  And I'm also starting a girls volleyball team which has been a dream of mine!

Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff

I only haven't written because I've been working non-stop. Everything's going really well. This week we are still on the tarmac - doing assessments, learning routines, assigning jobs, going over the rules, setting goals. I am waiting for liftoff. 

I will let you know when we have reached our cruising altitude. 

Start yer engines

The first day has come and gone.  I prepared endlessly, it feels, and ultimately it paid off. One of the girls (quite honestly, I'm not sure which one because it takes a little time to distinguish between and among them) piped up on our way out the door (only 5 minutes late, and with none of the important papers and memos left behind, which is actually quite good for the first day...). She said "When I get home my mom is going to ask how was school and I'm going to say wonderful!" Which is a bit amusing given that it feels like all we did today was peel and stick name labels onto a million different notebooks and workbooks and folders...

But she's probably reacting to that same, hopeful anything-can-happen feeling the teachers get around this time of year, too.  It's the one that popped me out of bed on several Saturday mornings before school started and had me analyzing the teacher's guide fpr math and creating a Student Math Goal Grid and a break-down of the Test Prep book according to skill... sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Anyway, everything went very smoothly, and I'm happy to report I am fully prepared for tomorrow and actually looking forward to it, in accordance with my personal goals for this year.

Also, another analogy for teaching dawned on me today as a trudged through the dampness of the day to the subway:  Teaching is a 7-hour one-man show performed for 180 days in a row. Each show must be unique, enriching, and tailored to each of the audience members individually. The teacher is not only the actor, but also the writer, director, producer, usher, tech crew and props department.

As I told Shorty this evening, 10 months of being tired begins now.

I have to say, it has been so amazing to have Shorty here backing me up -- making me lunches, procuring dinners, doing laundry, giving me back massages, making sure I get to bed and wake up on time and take my medicine... It's like having my own pit crew in between performances. I'm like an acrobat realizing how much better it is to have a safety net, when all this time I was going without!

Bull-head grab punch, and Dalton

I have been wearing the bull head earrings I bought at a rodeo in Montana this summer as a reminder to grab this year by the horns, or, as I've been saying with my frolleagues (friends + colleagues, get it?!), I'm going to punch this year in the face! In a good way... like, you know, huge impact...

Nothing earth-shattering at the meeting. The part where they talked about the new tenure policy made my stomach hurt. The best part was when Principal P. heroically squashed a killer cockroach that scuttled by, as his usually stoic harem of Assistant Principals squealed and twitched in anguish!  Also, they played a video, which I would like to share with you, of an adorable kid named Dalton who will get any educator at least a little pumped up for the coming school year:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMLOnSNwzA

So one more day until the kids arrive.  By 4:30pm today I was viscerally reminded of what it feels like to work a full day. Better get used to it, quick

teacher as interior decorator/systems analyst

Tomorrow will be my first official day on the job of the 11-12 school year.  There is a breakfast, followed by a staff meeting, then time for scheduling, beginning of year paper work, planning, and finishing up preparing our rooms.

I would venture to say that only those who have helmed their own classrooms can truly understand just how much thought goes into their arrangement. If you're picturing several straight rows of desks and a  blackboard with a piece of chalk, and maybe a pull-down map on the wall, you are picturing a very different era.

In elementary school these days (at least in mine), lessons happen with kids sitting cross-legged in the meeting area on the rug -- and given that some of the fifth graders will be about as big as I am, fitting them all into said area is no small feat.  Then there is the placement of the Smartboard so all kids can see it during a lesson, as well as the easel and the chair from which I teach. Then there are desk arrangements: "cooperative learning" requires kids to sit in groups or clusters, and I like to have a "focus desk" for kids who occasionally have trouble, well, focusing while learning cooperatively.  I also need a conferencing area for working with kids individually and in small groups. And, no matter where I am in the room, I have to be able to see all the kids at all times.

And that's just the furniture! From their desks, all the kids need to be able to see the word wall (for spelling), the math word wall for math vocabulary, the calendar, Flow of the Day, homework board and word of the day board, and all the different charts that will be hanging up reminding them of the various strategies they will be learning.  In addition,  kids also need to be able to access the fiction and non-fiction libraries ranging from reading levels L through X, the computers, science and social studies books, the writing center, art supplies, the sink, trash and recycling, the hermetically sealed varmint-proof lunch container, the coat closet, their mail boxes for the memos and reminders that are backapcked home, math tools, and they need space to line up when we go somewhere, and preferably not be tripping over each other when they move around the room...

So, essentially it's a 600-square foot logic puzzle. The only way to know for sure is to see it in action, but I think Sunny and I have finally cracked the code.

September arrives

One of my colleagues updated her facebook status that on September eve, her eye started twitching again.  Another colleague responded that she had started grinding her teeth again... and me, I've stopped sleeping through the night, though to be fair, I can't blame it totally on stress or anxiety because the throbbing pain from one of my wayward wisdom teeth that are slated to be removed could also be responsible.

The teachers have been bustling around at school readying our classrooms. Students arrive one week from today. Imagine one of those cartoon dust clouds, and out of it being flung bulletin board borders, colorful backing paper, and decorative die-cut shapes. If you don't know what those things are you've clearly never been to a teacher store, and depending on your taste for things that are totally adorable! or how jazzed you get if it matches my theme! you're either deprived or fortunate.

I can't say that bulletin board decor is one of my favorite parts of my job (not so for every elementary teacher - for some, it is truly an art.)  But I can say that I have developed some speed and skill over the years.  The trick is buying fadeless paper so that you don't have to do it again the following year, using a lot of staples and/or so it doesn't fall down mid-year, and picking a color scheme you can look at for 180 days straight without hating.  I have embraced classroom decorating this year and am going with a theme of nature, specifically trees.  And, in collaboration with Sunny, who has an identical room, and lots of trial and error throughout the last 2 years, I think we have finally discovered the ideal set-up for the classroom!

I'm actually in pretty good shape at the moment, owing partly to the fact that I put in quite a few hours organizing books and closet space at the end of last year.  Not having to change rooms or grades is a total lifesaver.

Even though we're not being reimbursed for any expenses this year, I've been saving receipts just in case, and also out of curiosity. So far the tally rounds out to about $300.

But now my classroom is $300 more kickass than it was last year!