Teach to the test, Yoda will

One of the things I decided I might need for the next unit, the dreaded Test Prep Unit, is a Yoda mask... I am envisioning myself picking the kids up in the morning on the first day of test prep in a Yoda mask and like, a blanket tied around me monk-style with a string.

I will tell them to envision a bunch of guys in suits all sitting around a giant conference table somewhere in a deep dark lair, rubbing their hands together and cackling evilly under their breath, but all wearing Darth Vader masks. Their sole purpose in life is to dream up new and nefarious ways to make the ELA test difficult.

I will them them the truth about how I feel about tests, at least a partial truth... Do I think it's an awesome way to spend time in school? No. Do I think it's fair how many they have to take and what they are like and how much they count for and what we have to do to get ready for them? No. Do I think they are important? Yes.

I will remind them that if they want to go to law school and be a lawyer? They have to take a test. If they want to go to medical school and become a doctor, they have to take a test. If they want to go to graduate school and become an archeologist or an astronaut or a newspaper editor, the have to take a test. If they want to be a teacher, they have to take lots and lots of tests. If they want to go to business school to learn how to make bucketloads of money, you get the picture...

I will also tell them that part of the reason they need to do well on these tests is so that they can grow up to be the principals and presidents and chancellors and mayors and other People with Power, and tell everyone, kids don't need tests! Kids need music and dancing and playgrounds and art and gardens and projects and field trips and outdoor time... But if they don't learn to play by the rules, they'll never get a chance, one day, to MAKE the rules.

So, according to my test prep fantasy, they will all become my jedi knights of test-taking, and teach them strategies, Ms. D will, to OWN the statewide tests. I will teach them how to use the force to overcome the evil plot of the test-making Vaders. And when the tests are over, I am also envisioning some sort of elaborate light-saber-bestowing ceremony to mark their achievement.

I had plenty of time to daydream about my Test-prep pep talk during the day-long unit planning meeting, as we discussed and debated the scintillating minutiae of test scoring and administration -- for example, whether a student could get full point value in the editing section for simply deleting the period without replacing it with a comma, and whether it would be more strategic to teach them to do notetaking using bullets, boxes and bullets, or an organizer with a pnuemonic.

I bet I'll have lots more to say on the topic of tests and test-taking and test-making and test-prepping. But it's late and waiting for me tomorrow, my Jedis will be.